R3N - Ryandi Ngomong Ngelantur Nih

Apparently,
aku sudah lama pengen ngomongin hal ini. sacred thing that i never think so far, what, why, when, or how it happens.
bagiku ini merupakan hal yang terlalu jauh. okay,actually, deket.. but, i just feel like... yeah just.. whatever. I dont know a word match with that feeling. this thing is just so "wow!"
too "wow!" so that i stunned.

Untouchable,
this thing is not a thing. it aims to be felt. cause it feeling of course. I feel this things everyday, everyhour, everyminute, everysecond, everytime i take my breath. I also made by this kind of feel. Even like that, i never think bout it. i just so stupid in it.
We know, and we called it. Love. Cinta.

What is the meaning of that?
I just dont know *FYI i used to use english talking bout it, dont know why* about that. I just know , I DO. I DO LOVE.

Aku ga percaya aku akhirnya jadi juga post this entry.

Love, in my opinion. Besides those stupid things above, is too too too too too complicated *mending ngerjain math yang susaaaah daripada bermasalah dengannya*
Like i said before, the only thing i know is just Do. Yang kutau cuma LAKUKAN! ya aku mudah banget buat sayang sama sesuatu. Even it just a shaped-blocks made by someone ( kan sayang, udah susah2 di buat di hancurin.. ga tegaaa ). Nah, apalagi sama orang.
Bukan jatuh cinta. ya aku rasa bukan. mungkin pernah ( pernah deng, dan gag enak, hha ). in this case, i talked bout love someone, not fall in love with. note that.

Well, aku mudah banget sayang sama seseorang. Mau cwo cwe, bagiku sih sama aja... sama2 orang. sama2 makhluk ciptaan Allah, ya gag? kita kan harus mencintai sesama, berbuat baik ke semua, be kind,ramah.. ya gag? ya kan? nah i did it and i am doing it. And i love almost everyone. I love my friends, *well agak janggal dengernya emang* I love zaki,widi,gusyu,rizky and many more, Note that i am not a homo! lain kan? kalo aku ngomongnya gni I love rizka,mutia,rani,ocha nama2 cwe gtu.. pasti gag janggal, kcuali aku nyebutin mpe 50-60.. aje gile.. tapi dlam fahamku, it's okay.
Emang kalian pikir love itu apa? apakah cinta itu cuma buat kekasih? pacar? *kalo tuhan and family gag usah d omongin lagi deh..uda wajib itu mah..*
Menurutku ngomong I love you or aku cinta kamu, bisa ke siapa aja.. ya.. gag se-siapa aja banget lah.. gag banget deh baru nemu dijalan tukang bakso pentol, trus kita ngomong, i love you, dikira apa ntar... yang sekiranya mungkin udah msuk inner circle kalian lah.. bestfriends misal.

But,
tapi, world denied that, doesnt it? maybe not world, but place we live. Sekitar kita. gitu kan?
I love you, dkatakan cuma buat "nembak", or antara pacar *eh, ini aku ngomong buat range umurku, remaja lah..* dan i hate love like that. yeah, some space of my mind hates word "love". ga ada kata yang lebih baik kah?? soalnya sudah beda artinya.. well, it depends on who we told that to. ( i hope i found that person )

Maaf aku kalo salah, aku gag maksud mnyinggung, i just tell you what i think. My mind, me is a human, manusia yang stupid, and do many sins. Jam terbang ku masih dikit, masalah itu, aku poor banget. Liat kan? dalam nulis ini aja, gag urut, acak, mana yang kalimat utama, mana yang paragraf utama, absurd. Mau ending-in aja bgung gmana. masih banyak sebenernya yang pengen aku omongin, tapi bgung.

Nah, kata bingung ini, B I N G U N G, sering banget aku keluarin klo ada orang yang ngajak ngmong masalh ini. Haha, tapi nyatanya ya emang bingung. Mungkin nanti, suatu saat, engga bingunng lagi, hope that thay come soon.

Balik lagi deh ke love. *btw, jangan2 tampang kalian lagi aneh ya? terdohok?*
Well, love is relly a shit things for me. Besides, i like loving someone. The problem is that someone. How is he/she?

Once,
i ever love someone, this not love means sayang. but really fall in love ( still feelin that till now ). love that major people think, cuz i am the minor. *buat gusyu yang ngatain aku homo! i am not! am i? haha* but it just not work, yeah, because i fall in love with her but i dont wanna be boyfriends of her. I dont wanna do "pacaran" yet. Ada kata yet nya lo... jadi artinya belum..
Why?
gag bisa kah kita mencintai tanpa ikatan seperti itu? bukankah cinta itu adalah kebebasan? oke, mungkin kalo pacaran berlaku hanya as a title of relationship, it's okay. But, if dikaitkan dengan kewajiban, inilah.. itulah.. GAG. yet. ada YET nya. Secara, aku pikir aku still a high school stupid student. that things just nambah2 kerjaan aja.. repot, pusing, ya kan? Absolutely yes. walau di bilang penyangkalannya, aku tetep masih mikir gtu. Keras kepala? memang.. bagaimana pun tetep. mending time yang dipake buat do that di pake buat mencetak prestasi. Toh, ntar ada waktunya ndiri..

Ya, aku sadar, waktu tiap orang emang beda2. dan bberapa ada yang dtang pas high school. Aku cuma pengen aku dianggap gag begtu, karna aku memang gag gtu, bukan seperti itu aku. Boleh kan? bebas?

well, once is enough. i sick. be a different is not a good idea. And kabar baiknya, bagiku itu bukan cuma idea. aku emang beda.
Sungguh, aku sayang. I know that feeling, i have mother, and my feeling to her is just feel the same, in a differnt rate of course...

So, Love sucks, isn't it?
for me... not you.

Now, i hope i found someone.

i know, it almost impossible.

Cause, me is shit.

Isnt it?

Anyway, lets laugh together. finally i post this.
and.. FYI, i am home!
liburan cuy! di rumah... ntar deh, aku ceritain bbrpa hal happened here.